Wet dreams

Yesterday was the day. We stripped down one of our 3 Hovery Bimos, put it in the back of my Mondeo and drove down to Millpool capark in Looe, our local fishing town. We had spring tides (6m) and got down there about an hour before slack water.

Putting the machine back together was hilarious, clock ticking, people watching, me huffing puffing and cursing as the time ran on and on. We had to get the machine out on the water by 6.00PM to allow a two hour window to get to the destination before dark. The later the better as the wind and swell would drop a bit as evening came on.

I managed to drop a little bolt (throttle cable mounting) into the cooling fins of one engine. Idiot. After that I wound my neck in and got on with it. Jack and Ben calm, laying out the safety kit on the tarmac ramp and going over the route and call points with me until they were sure I knew where I was going.

VHF radio preset to channel 16 for Mayday calls, distress flare, Adrenalin Quarry radio to talk to the guys on the move. Knife, Cable tie cutters, mobile phone. Thermal underwear, rash vest, t-shirt, 5mm wetsuit, wetsuit boots and gloves, wetsuit shorts, board shorts. Bouyancy aid with lots of pockets for the bits and bobs, ear defenders, woolly hat and another rash vest in bright yellow over everything. Ben and Jack murmering in my ear, pushing and pulling me into the safety gear, preset my phone to ring their numbers when I got there.

Last of all we strapped two 5 litre fuel cans into the frame under the seat using cable ties. We still didn’t know if the machine had enough gas to make it in one go.

6.15PM time to go. I fired off the ramp and into a problem: the extra fuel was to far back, making the back of the machine drag. She wouldn’t pick up speed and was hard to turn, so I came straight back and we strapped the fuel on a bit further forward to give a neutral balance.

6.20PM. I had to do it now or never so fired back in and headed through slack water round to Looe bridge. Shit! I realised straight away that this time the extra fuel was too far forwards, tipping the machine onto its nose. Too bad. I had run out of patience and was running out of daylight.

Round the corner to Looe bridge and aim for the centre of an arch, people walking across and turning round to see what all the noise was about. I then realised that with the spring tide my head was going to smack into the underside of the arch as I went through. Errrrrrr…….throttle back to sit the machine down in the water and bend over as far as I can. Easy.

Looe Harbour quiet, looking beautiful at high water. Out past Banjo pier, left through a school of mirror dinghies and aim West for Rame Head. Game on. The swell was worse than it had looked form the shore and was uncomfortable even in the lee of Looe Island. I got on with it but couldn’t use full throttle as she would start to bounced really hard in the swell so I found some kind of compromise and cruised west as fast as I could stay in the seat.

Opposite the Whitsand Bay Hotel and first call point. I remember telling them that I was not having a good time with the swell but didn’t want to turn back into the 13 knot tail wind. I heard Jack Jacks voice but couldn’t make out a word. Too far out to sea as I was making a bee line for Rame head rather than follow the curve of the shore.

All the first leg was really uncomfortable, hard to keep my feet down on the pegs and my arse on the seat with the chop. That far from the shore there is no impression of speed unless you go close to a bouy or over some weed or something. Looe was a long way back and Rame head a long way ahead. Decent size rollers now, but easy to surf along the upface and power down the backs. So far so good.

Less than mile short of rame head and getting choppy. I leant back and removed a petrol filler to check how fast I was getting through it. The swell was enough to make it impossible to tell what fuel was left in the tanks as the machine pitched and rolled so I thought I’d fuel up anyway. Big mistake. I got the cable tie cutters out easy enough and got the fuel in without to much trouble, engines ticking over and the hovercraft facing the swell. It took time, and I had now drifted with the wind and swell right into the rough stuff off Rame head itself.

Big confused peaks randomly slapping us around and water shipping over the front of the skirt. At this point I found I was unable to tie the used fuel can back down and the unused spare tank had now slipped over on the right of centre, pulling the machine with it. I was too scared to get out of the seat to tie them back in properly, and too stiff to reach from a sitting position so decided to go get on with it.

Nothing. Nada. Nix. Full power on both engines and she couldn’t pick up enough speed for a water start. Not good. Conventional wisdom is to get the wind and swell behind you and ease the power on, get some speed up and then go into full power. I didn’t want to go inshore at all so decided to drag out through the swell and get some room before I turned around. Not good. I couldn’t control where I was going very well and the swell was just starting to break up into white caps. Nice.

Then a massive random stroke of luck. Somehow the swell flicked her up and we were off on a rollercoaster, smashing through the wavetops hard enough to make the engines flex the tiny frame as they flopped forwards and back. I was unable to keep my feet down or stay on the seat, and somehow didn’t want to ditch the half full fuel can in my left hand. Like a rodeo for wet idiot. A wet scared idiot.

TBC